It makes me think I'm the "whirling dervish" from the Mrs. Polifax book. (Everyone ought to listen to the Mrs. Polifax books if they can. They're quite fun.)
In July I lost my brother Jim to the evil and gruesome cancers self-imposed by substance abuse. I never realized how much he would rattle around in my head after he was gone. He used to have little things he would say that were a blanket response to whatever comment you offered him him.
If you said... "I hurt my foot" he would reply "Dammit Man", in a sympathetic tone, but with a little grin. A single sentence, of two words of sympathy for whatever ails you. If you said... "I lost 50$ in the grocery store" he would reply "Dammit Man". Now he is gone and I seem to find him in my head every time I stub a toe or drop a glass on the ceramic tile or have a sinus headache. He's right there behind me, saying, "Dammit Man". I'm serious, I can hear his voice in my head. Sometimes it's a little creepy.
He was a sad and complex man and he loved very deeply. I will miss him more than I realized. He could also be a bit on the sarcastic side. If I complained of something he thought trivial, he would look at me, cock one eyebrow, and retort in a mocking tone....."Say it isn't so".... followed again by the grin. This was a frequent response to many of my high speed verbose rants on something. I tend to go onie onie onie when I get myself wrapped up and passionate about something. Especially if I've had 3 or 4 glasses of wine. I think it was his way of bringing me back to this planet and slowing down my orbit to a managable speed.
Come back Jimmy.... I wasn't done with you.
AnDee
